My “Self-Love” Cannot Combat the Systemic Devaluation of My Dignity: Unpacking the Limitations of Insular Self -Love

Self-love is not enough.

Self-love has not changed the world.

Self-love alone has not liberated us from systematic exclusion and oppression.

To be completely transparent, thirty plus years of inner work, several advanced degrees including a doctorate, self-love cannot combat the systemic devaluation of my dignity.

Self-love was never meant to stand alone.

Though fundamental for resilience and self-advocacy, self-love is the first milestone, not the last one.

Self-love is an incomplete ethic that needs unpacking.

Self-love fluently spots personal wounds, but not always communal and systemic ones.

Solitary inner work cannot single-handedly dismantle systems reliant on fracture between groups.

Focusing inward makes sense amidst fractures between partners. Personal excavation builds capacity for vulnerability — understanding of needs, attachment injuries, and communication styles underneath conflicts.

Simply focusing on “self” runs the risk of minimizing the influences of forces beyond the individual, for example, how systems shape stories and struggles. Internal work uplifts, but changing institutions necessitates examining their shadows closely first.

I think one of the dangers of the just “self-love” campaign is how it has been marketed to capitalize on marginalized oppression. Self-love reduced to mantras on merchandise sustains capitalism — not justice.

When “self-love” morphs into individual acts like buying bath soaps, the logic shifts from compassionate community care to curated consumer comforts as channels toward confidence and freedom. This hijacking neutralizes collective potency into complacent self-congratulation requiring no transformation beyond feel-good Instagram infographics.

Commodification of intrinsic human goods like air, water, social connection squeeze what cannot pour cash into shareholder reservoirs through the sieve of twisted priorities.

Institutions, relationships and inner dimensions of being all subsume to feeding bellies of a beast recognizing no sacredness or soul outside fueling its twisted aims.

Even the dissent itself converted into empty slogans on coffee mugs peddling brand activism barely masking indifference to injustice underneath profit packaging.

Marginalized and oppressed folks under commodification join devastated planets, factory farmed beings, blazing woods, dying rivers and vibrant heritages on the trash heap of that considered insignificant for sustaining power’s bottom line. As long as a model centering on consumption and accumulation reigns, it will continue devouring whole categories of creatures in its insatiable hunger for more. Only reclaiming what must never be possessed can rebirth an endangered world.

When confronted with structural and institutional harms enacted against marginalized communities, oppressive statements such as “love yourself more” redirect responsibility onto oppressed individuals with a message that self-esteem alone is the solution, rather than examining forces that create oppression. It goes without saying that this convoluted, simplistic logic covertly perpetuates harm. First, because it implants a false dichotomy between dignity and opposition. It’s as though marginalized folks first must fix ourselves before qualifying to challenge systematic mistreatment, ignoring that most of us carry both resilient worthiness as well as legitimate outrage at injustice.

Secondly, it implies victims of structural oppression are responsible for acquiring thicker skin rather than systems creating greater conscience and equity. This illogical reaction blames those denied power for not being invulnerable to unchecked power.

For marginalized folks, genuine “self-love” manifests by speaking frankly about our experiences of injustice, not internalizing society’s shame. This kind of vulnerability is a sign of trusting one’s own personal power, agency and legitimacy enough to invite responsive change. Even so, simply loving oneself more deeply fails to transform systemic harm.

Inner radiance cannot single-handedly cure outer darkness.

While nurturing self-love and acceptance helps us weather oppression’s assaults, truly overcoming injustice requires those who uphold inequality to listen to the grievances voiced by the oppressed — then courageously confront complicity. It is not the amount of painful outcries, but the integrity of your responsiveness that determines the trajectory of liberation. In this view, sharing one’s needs is an act of self-love met by liberation and loving solidarity — not dismissal.

Creating conditions for equitably thriving requires those with Power to relinquish ignorance, denial and fragility to foster fertile grounds that benefit all of us.

Healthy, thriving relationships elevate the marginalized and oppressed not only through self-improvement, but also through reciprocal effort towards truth, justice and collective care.

Dismantling unjust systems manifests first through courageous truth-telling, then through compassionate responsibility integrated into daily actions. No one transcends pain, trauma and darkness alone.

Call to Action!

There are always missteps when it comes to relating to others. Let this be our collective call to courageously unearth painful truths through solidarity, not separation and exclusion. It is through each other that we save ourselves.

Thank you for taking the time to read this piece.

With gratitude,

Dr. Paula

Website: www.paulasmith-imago.com